Welcome to Disturbingly Cheap Reviews.
This week we take an experimental approach by going textual (it’s not like my voice is that riveting anyway) while taking a look at the direct-to-internet seven-part ThatGuyWithTheGlasses film, Suburban Knights. This ‘film’ is featuring a slew of the site’s contributors and is the third anniversary creation with the intention of bringing light to lesser known reviewers while providing comedy for the dedicated fans.
In it, The Nostalgia Critic tricks his compadres into coming to a location with the promise of a prize but instead greets them with the surprise of a mandatory search for an ancient glove. Of course, there isn’t much arm twisting after he reveals the glove is worth fortunes. However, for comedic purposes, they are told the only way to complete their quest is dressing and acting like famous fantasy characters.
After splitting into two groups since there is a double digit amount of people, both teams face obstacles such as cloaked figures or a very angry cat puppet. All the while, they are constantly being watched by a technology hating mysteriously magic powered foe who wants the prize for much more nefarious means than money.
One thing constantly catching my attention was how most scenes felt more like sketches. It was if the characters weren’t moving from moment to moment but instead from joke to joke with no real flow; along the lines of the much maligned Date/Epic/Disaster Movie series that is often fodder for the reviewers involved.
This movie also has my pet peeve, the shaking camera. Whenever a walking conversation is needed, the camera man seems to think his equipment is actually a magic 8-ball which was personally distracting. It actually caused me to look away at times in order to listen to the dialogue.
Story wise, this is a more advanced plot than last years “take over a place, turn against each other, lose control of place.” It shows good effort but drags in the middle as the plot is pushed to the side for silly play fighting scenes filled with hit-or-mostly-miss gags. However, when the story does pick back up again (somewhere in the middle of Part 5 if you’re curious) it builds well to the ending before delivering a very foreshadowed, predictable finale that felt more bland than ‘epic.’
So, in all, the movie has various problems on a technical side that can distract a viewer, is way too long for what is presented, provides humor with some jokes overstaying their welcome, flounders in the middle, picks up near the end, and sputters to a predictable finish. Therefore ThatGuywithTheGlasses’ Suburban Knights earns…
GRADE: D
I don’t want to individually name names and give my opinion on efforts, but I’d be amiss without mentioning a couple performers who were consistently entertaining to me: The Cinema Snob, whose Indiana Jones character was really well acted, and Todd in the Shadows, who provided good one liners throughout.
The unique thing about reviewing this work is that the majority of those interested will have already watched it by the time this comes out and those uninterested have really no reason to suddenly care. Perhaps the most obvious observation I can make is those who have never seen a “ThatGuy” reviewer before needs to avoid this film since it’s definitely not for them. Even if you are a ThatGuy fan who waited until the entire project was released and still haven’t watched, my review probably won’t deter you. Perhaps that is why I’ve chosen to write this one out, in order to go more indepth than a typical 4 minute review but not bore (Well…I tried not to bore) those who have already made up their minds.
With that last thought, I thank you for reading the review as I now move into the Spoilers.
Spoilers After The Not-So-Disturbingly-Cheap (Or Maybe So) Trailer:
Throughout the adventure it is revealed that the villains Black Attired Guy is actually Malachite, the former owner of the powerful glove, who wants to destroy the world because of his hatred for technology. A long story short, at the end, he gets it (Unsurprisingly, it ends up being a Nintendo “Power Glove” to squeeze in that reference) and uses his powers to rough up the ThatGuy crew. During this, however, is a completely unnecessary joke revealing that he is a hypocrite by having him get a phone call (on an I-Phone). After spending the early parts of the movie having this character kill numerous technology users, the revelation was not as much funny as oddly thrown in. It’s a punchline to a joke I didn’t realize was being told.
To get back on track, things are starting to look bad for the ThatGuy crew (and I suppose the world in general). Gandalf dressed Spoony (Spoondalf?) is flung around the world. Angry Joe’s unlimited supply of ammo is blocked via Malachite’s Wonder Woman inspired spinning staff. Nostalgia Chick’s cleavage is ignored. Everything is going wrong.
Finally, the running joke character Ma-Ti (from Captain Planet) arrives and throws a fit about how he has been shrugged off the entire time. He confronts the Big Bad, discovering his usually worthless ring is actually the passed-through-time jewel made to battle Malachite. Convienently predictable. So they have a low-budget special effects battle ending with the Big Bad being blown away and Ma-Ti dying from his wounds, a hero. “How hilarious,” you might be thinking, but they do try and shove some jokes into the situation before giving him a Spock-Style funeral.
With the world somehow saved, the film ends by completing a running joke of comic reviewer Linkara wanting to sing a song and the Nostalgia Critic setting up a possible future video finding the Necronomican to resurrect the fallen Ma-Ti. They should look up the local “Pet Semetary” if you ask me.
And that completes my thoughts on Suburban Knights. It’s far from spectacular and being two hours is rather absurd.
So until next time…Forced Reference!
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