SILVER SHAMROCK!
I've been preparing for the hour and a half regulated Trick 'r Treating that the town council so humbling allowed and would like to fill in a couple blank spots on my Horror-a-Day Reviews.
Day 26
Movie: Halloween 3
Recap: SILVER SHAMROCK! The infamous Michael-less Halloween film that revolves around an evil mask maker with a stolen piece of Stonehenge looking to kill kids with his evil masks. It's ridiculous, it's preposterous, it's a darn fun watch every time. Not for everyone, but definitely for me.
Grade: B. It's good fun as long as you're not expecting Michael Myers. Pure enjoyable cheese.
Day 27
Movie: The Hills Have Eyes
Recap: I revisited the original Wes Craven film of a vacationing family tortured and attacked by a band of mutants. The film that helped launch B-Movie Legend Michael Berryman's career. Still as gritty as it was before. And one of the horror films where the most likable character is the dog. Go Beast.
Grade: B+. Wes Craven used to have it...now he has Scream 4.
Day 28
Movie: Vacancy
Recap: I originally planned to watch 28 Days Later for the sheer pun of it...but I didn't. So instead, we follow the unlikable couple of Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale as their car breaks down. Left with few options they walk to a nearby hotel and soon discover that it those in charge enjoy filming the rooms. No, not to catch the couples making love, but to catch all the footage of when they break in and kill them. Not wanting to die and all, Luke and Kate look to escape. It's trying to be a thriller in lines of Alfred Hitchcock but misses the mark at times.
Grade: B-. Worthy of a view if it sounds interesting, but don't expect to be blown away.
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips
And if you enjoy the reviews, you might just enjoy my book:
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
DC Reviews: Hellraiser Revelations
Hellraiser Direct to DVD sequel that will baffle you with its existence until I whine about it in the video above this...or if you look it up somewhere else.
Day 29. Yeah, I know. I'm 26, 27, and 28 behind.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
DC Reviews: The Howling - Reborn
Because if anything needed a reboot, it was The Howling. And the best way to do that reboot was to rip-off a current fad that involves sparkling vampires...but leave out the vampires.
Also, Day 25 review
Monday, October 24, 2011
Horror-a-Day Catch-up Post-Extravaganza Jr.
10/15
Movie: Tales From the Darkside: The Movie
Recap: Anthology film consisting of three stories told by a child trying to delay a witch from preparing him for a dinner.
"Lot 249" stars Steve Buscemi as a pesky nerd who imports an Egyptian Mummy in order to get revenge on a group of people including Christian Slater. It's quirky and has some good moments (especially with Slater's battle with the mummy) with a hit-or-miss ending.
"Cat From Hell" consists of an older man hiring a hitman to eliminate the title animal. It does not go as easily as the hitman expects. This one's ending is a head tilt-er. Not for a twist, just for the way the final hitman vs. cat confrontation goes.
"Lover's Vow" A man sees a gargoyle creature killing someone. It makes him promise to not tell, vowing to come back and kill him if he spills the beans towards its existence. The man soon finds true love and, over the years, debates on whether to share the information with her. It's...kind of dumb, in all honesty.
"Epilogue." The story connecting the anthology tales ends cute enough.
I'd recommend Tales From the Darkside: The Movie for at least one viewing.
Grade: B-
10/16
Movie: Lake Placid
Recap: A Horror-Comedy dealing around a select group of unique characters dealing with the sudden discovery of a 30-foot, man-chomping crocodile in Maine.
This film really clicked for me. It's got a good feel of a comedy with dashes of effective horror and a jumpscare that was actually enjoyable instead of eye-rolling. Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda play the "Duo that is Destined to Fall in Love" over the film very well. Meanwhile, the movie throws in a buddy duo of Oliver Platt and Brendan Gleeson as a wacky animal hunter and local 'hick' sheriff. Betty White plays a small role of a dirty mouthed local that is rather amusing.
So, yes, I'd say the characters really make this one with the croc only being a part of the ideal...which is probably why the direct-to-SyFy sequels were dreadful beyond compare.
I'd definitely recommend it.
Grade: B+
10/17
Movie: From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money
Recap: Vampires robbing a bank. This film typically gets mis-advertised. The TV blurb for it says it follows "Bank Robbers who stumble upon a bar full of vampires" when in reality, only one of the robbers does so, gets bit, and then goes back to his group to push for the robbery to be at night. Also, the description says the film stars Bruce Campbell and Tiffany Thiessen who are barely in the film for a minute. (Actually, on some old VHS covers, the movie claims Thiessen is the Queen Vampire which is downright ridiculous).
Needless off-side banter aside, this film is a profane thrill ride of goofy. Robert Patrick is downright awesome throughout, even if the film seems to just run out of ideas near the end. There are amusing parts and some fun lines, but the movie iss lacking in some areas. It's definitely a step down from the original, but it's not horrible.
Also, I enjoyed the brief Danny Trejo cameo because...well...Danny Trejo.
Give it a watch if you have spare time and it's on TV.
Grade: C+
10/18
Movie: Code Red -- The Rubicon Conspiracy
Recap: Made-for-TV Predator rip-off. This films hits all the typical scenes you'd expect and is very by-the-numbers. Sadly,that also means it is a bland film that isn't really worthy of a view.
There is one unique moment, as the leftover group finds a bunker and has to try and hack into a 1960s computer, complete with dumb references abound.
Only if you're a big Predator fan do I recommend this one.
Grade: D+
10/19
Movie: Abominable
Recap: Rear Window with a Sasquatch. An injured man lives in a cabin deep in the woods. However, there is another one near by and a group of vacationing girls move in just as the local giant Abominable Snowman decides to pick up some humans for a snack.
This one works in spots, but the ending is a dull cliche that takes away from other parts. Lance Henriksen is in the film and brings his usual ability to a small role but he's not around long enough to consider a full-fledged recommendation.
If you see it on SyFy, it's not too bad.
Grade: C
10/20
Movie: The Dentist
Recap: A dentist goes crazy after discovering his wife's infidelity and garners revenge the best way he knows how. If you hate the dentist, this film won't help you. If you hate violence to teeth...this film won't help you. Corbin Bernsen is great as the flipping out dentist and is intimidating when having 'clients' prepared for surgery.
The teeth violence seems rather real and even made me a bit squeamish. Among all this, however, is some kind of awkward dark humor. Not sure it really works all the time.
If you think you can stand it, try it. You've got nothing to lose...except a molar or two.
Grade: C+
10/21
Movie: Route 666
Recap: Ghost Chain Gang Workers pound the pavement with the flesh of those dumb enough to stay on the road. Lou Diamond Phillips and Lori Petty star in this film and work well off each other for the most part.
I think the main issue is that the writer was trying way too hard. Consider when dialogue like this exists:
"I don't care if you're ****ing Santa Claus!"
"Well, hopefully Mrs. Claus is the only one doing that."
It's not a good film, but if you're a LDP fan, you should be good to go. It's a fun b-movie at the very least.
Grade: C
10/22
Movie: Deep Rising
Recap: Horror Comedy Action film where a boatload of mercs and an unlucky ship owner end up battling against giant evil CGI sea worms. Treat Williams is a lot of fun in this Steven Sommers film.
There is a decent mixture of action and comedy to match the tension built horror parts. In all honesty, this thing was more action than horror, but I still enjoyed it.
Not recommended for Halloween viewing, but worth a view down the road.
Grade: B
10/23
Movie: Friday the 13th (Remake)
Recap: It's Jason Voorhees and he's got a very cliche set-up that the makers were hoping you'd enjoy. This is all about rebooting the franchise with a quicker, smarter Jason who apparently is really good at running around tunnels.
This movie tries really hard to capture the 'aura' of the earlier films while throwing all the nostalgic stuff they could at the camera. Jason with a machete? Yep. Jason finds his hockey mask? You betcha. Nudity? Very much so. Even more nudity? Of course? A sex scene that goes on so long you begin to wonder if the film qualifies as part softcore? Duh.
It didn't click with me, but it might with others. I might have just advanced past the point where a new "Friday" movie entertains me.
Grade: C-
10/24
Movie: FearDotCom
Recap: A ghost who apparently rented The Ring has a website that will kill you in two days unless you can win a game or some such nonsense. This film is just a mess from start to finish.
Nothing really likable about anyone in it. Nothing really intersting about the plot. Nothing intimidating about the serial killer. Nothing spooky about the ghost or its tactics.
So, to summarize: Nothing really worth watching.
Grade: F
Movie: Tales From the Darkside: The Movie
Recap: Anthology film consisting of three stories told by a child trying to delay a witch from preparing him for a dinner.
"Lot 249" stars Steve Buscemi as a pesky nerd who imports an Egyptian Mummy in order to get revenge on a group of people including Christian Slater. It's quirky and has some good moments (especially with Slater's battle with the mummy) with a hit-or-miss ending.
"Cat From Hell" consists of an older man hiring a hitman to eliminate the title animal. It does not go as easily as the hitman expects. This one's ending is a head tilt-er. Not for a twist, just for the way the final hitman vs. cat confrontation goes.
"Lover's Vow" A man sees a gargoyle creature killing someone. It makes him promise to not tell, vowing to come back and kill him if he spills the beans towards its existence. The man soon finds true love and, over the years, debates on whether to share the information with her. It's...kind of dumb, in all honesty.
"Epilogue." The story connecting the anthology tales ends cute enough.
I'd recommend Tales From the Darkside: The Movie for at least one viewing.
Grade: B-
10/16
Movie: Lake Placid
Recap: A Horror-Comedy dealing around a select group of unique characters dealing with the sudden discovery of a 30-foot, man-chomping crocodile in Maine.
This film really clicked for me. It's got a good feel of a comedy with dashes of effective horror and a jumpscare that was actually enjoyable instead of eye-rolling. Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda play the "Duo that is Destined to Fall in Love" over the film very well. Meanwhile, the movie throws in a buddy duo of Oliver Platt and Brendan Gleeson as a wacky animal hunter and local 'hick' sheriff. Betty White plays a small role of a dirty mouthed local that is rather amusing.
So, yes, I'd say the characters really make this one with the croc only being a part of the ideal...which is probably why the direct-to-SyFy sequels were dreadful beyond compare.
I'd definitely recommend it.
Grade: B+
10/17
Movie: From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money
Recap: Vampires robbing a bank. This film typically gets mis-advertised. The TV blurb for it says it follows "Bank Robbers who stumble upon a bar full of vampires" when in reality, only one of the robbers does so, gets bit, and then goes back to his group to push for the robbery to be at night. Also, the description says the film stars Bruce Campbell and Tiffany Thiessen who are barely in the film for a minute. (Actually, on some old VHS covers, the movie claims Thiessen is the Queen Vampire which is downright ridiculous).
Needless off-side banter aside, this film is a profane thrill ride of goofy. Robert Patrick is downright awesome throughout, even if the film seems to just run out of ideas near the end. There are amusing parts and some fun lines, but the movie iss lacking in some areas. It's definitely a step down from the original, but it's not horrible.
Also, I enjoyed the brief Danny Trejo cameo because...well...Danny Trejo.
Give it a watch if you have spare time and it's on TV.
Grade: C+
10/18
Movie: Code Red -- The Rubicon Conspiracy
Recap: Made-for-TV Predator rip-off. This films hits all the typical scenes you'd expect and is very by-the-numbers. Sadly,that also means it is a bland film that isn't really worthy of a view.
There is one unique moment, as the leftover group finds a bunker and has to try and hack into a 1960s computer, complete with dumb references abound.
Only if you're a big Predator fan do I recommend this one.
Grade: D+
10/19
Movie: Abominable
Recap: Rear Window with a Sasquatch. An injured man lives in a cabin deep in the woods. However, there is another one near by and a group of vacationing girls move in just as the local giant Abominable Snowman decides to pick up some humans for a snack.
This one works in spots, but the ending is a dull cliche that takes away from other parts. Lance Henriksen is in the film and brings his usual ability to a small role but he's not around long enough to consider a full-fledged recommendation.
If you see it on SyFy, it's not too bad.
Grade: C
10/20
Movie: The Dentist
Recap: A dentist goes crazy after discovering his wife's infidelity and garners revenge the best way he knows how. If you hate the dentist, this film won't help you. If you hate violence to teeth...this film won't help you. Corbin Bernsen is great as the flipping out dentist and is intimidating when having 'clients' prepared for surgery.
The teeth violence seems rather real and even made me a bit squeamish. Among all this, however, is some kind of awkward dark humor. Not sure it really works all the time.
If you think you can stand it, try it. You've got nothing to lose...except a molar or two.
Grade: C+
10/21
Movie: Route 666
Recap: Ghost Chain Gang Workers pound the pavement with the flesh of those dumb enough to stay on the road. Lou Diamond Phillips and Lori Petty star in this film and work well off each other for the most part.
I think the main issue is that the writer was trying way too hard. Consider when dialogue like this exists:
"I don't care if you're ****ing Santa Claus!"
"Well, hopefully Mrs. Claus is the only one doing that."
It's not a good film, but if you're a LDP fan, you should be good to go. It's a fun b-movie at the very least.
Grade: C
10/22
Movie: Deep Rising
Recap: Horror Comedy Action film where a boatload of mercs and an unlucky ship owner end up battling against giant evil CGI sea worms. Treat Williams is a lot of fun in this Steven Sommers film.
There is a decent mixture of action and comedy to match the tension built horror parts. In all honesty, this thing was more action than horror, but I still enjoyed it.
Not recommended for Halloween viewing, but worth a view down the road.
Grade: B
10/23
Movie: Friday the 13th (Remake)
Recap: It's Jason Voorhees and he's got a very cliche set-up that the makers were hoping you'd enjoy. This is all about rebooting the franchise with a quicker, smarter Jason who apparently is really good at running around tunnels.
This movie tries really hard to capture the 'aura' of the earlier films while throwing all the nostalgic stuff they could at the camera. Jason with a machete? Yep. Jason finds his hockey mask? You betcha. Nudity? Very much so. Even more nudity? Of course? A sex scene that goes on so long you begin to wonder if the film qualifies as part softcore? Duh.
It didn't click with me, but it might with others. I might have just advanced past the point where a new "Friday" movie entertains me.
Grade: C-
10/24
Movie: FearDotCom
Recap: A ghost who apparently rented The Ring has a website that will kill you in two days unless you can win a game or some such nonsense. This film is just a mess from start to finish.
Nothing really likable about anyone in it. Nothing really intersting about the plot. Nothing intimidating about the serial killer. Nothing spooky about the ghost or its tactics.
So, to summarize: Nothing really worth watching.
Grade: F
Friday, October 14, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 14
Cheating again. Here's Siskel and Ebert's review of Prince of Darkness.
And I completely disagree with both men on this one. Darkness is another John Carpenter cult classic that managed to hold my attention the entire time. The cast works well and the story is well built.
However, it hasn't aged very well which may not please some viewers. Consider that my warning to you. :)
Grade: B
Using other reviews as starting points are great. No wonder that kid from that one Sean Connery movie used the start of one of his essays...Finding Forester, that's it!
And I completely disagree with both men on this one. Darkness is another John Carpenter cult classic that managed to hold my attention the entire time. The cast works well and the story is well built.
However, it hasn't aged very well which may not please some viewers. Consider that my warning to you. :)
Grade: B
Using other reviews as starting points are great. No wonder that kid from that one Sean Connery movie used the start of one of his essays...Finding Forester, that's it!
Horrors of Spider Island...an MST3k-less production
Public Domain. If you've seen the MST3k ep, see how many jokes return to your mind :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 13
I cheat today by borrowing a review of Wes Craven's Shocker from an in-prime form Siskel and Ebert.
My opinion on the movie is essentially Siskel's except I didn't see any problem with the blood shown.
Shocker is a neat little flick from Craven that seems to borrow from the pages of Freddy Krueger numerous times (Hey, if you made one, might as well use the playbook to make another).
Grade: B
It's too bad this one didn't catch on well enough for sequels. I enjoyed it and I think, if you're a big fan of the original Nightmare on Elm Street, it could be worth your time for at least a one time viewing.
My opinion on the movie is essentially Siskel's except I didn't see any problem with the blood shown.
Shocker is a neat little flick from Craven that seems to borrow from the pages of Freddy Krueger numerous times (Hey, if you made one, might as well use the playbook to make another).
Grade: B
It's too bad this one didn't catch on well enough for sequels. I enjoyed it and I think, if you're a big fan of the original Nightmare on Elm Street, it could be worth your time for at least a one time viewing.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
No New Horror Movie Review...
So here is Public Domain's masterpiece: Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Ed Wood it up.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
DC Reviews: Creature
It doubles for my movie a day film. Day 11. It's not cheating!
It's my "Special" movie! Why is it special? ...I don't know.
It's my "Special" movie! Why is it special? ...I don't know.
Monday, October 10, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 10
Sure, it's past midnight, but I watched a movie, so this counts, daggone it!
Day 10: One Missed Call (US Remake)
No, I've never seen the original. However, I wouldn't be surprised if...well...we can't act without knowledge, so let's get to the review.
A mash-up of Final Destination and The Ring, One Missed Call has people receive future voicemails revealing the last words they'll say before being murdered...or whatever it is that happens. This is counteractive at points as one person is attacked by a mysterious hand while another has a freak accident hit them with a flying object.
Most attempts to create tension are influenced by CGI shocks, including one especially laughable one including a texting baby demon looking thing-y that didn't emit terror as much as confusion and startled chuckle.
Main character wise, the film is okay. The main girl is a decent character and decently acted, but it's definitely not a big deal as she's not very memorable. Backing her up is our main male who is a detective who detects and sticks around for background information, mostly. He's as bland.
Grade: D+. There are occasional good jumps and the story moves along decent enough. It has it's plan and lays it out...it's just not very exciting or, worst of all, scary.
No spoilers because the twist is kind of "there." So here's an e-book plug instead:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
Day 10: One Missed Call (US Remake)
No, I've never seen the original. However, I wouldn't be surprised if...well...we can't act without knowledge, so let's get to the review.
A mash-up of Final Destination and The Ring, One Missed Call has people receive future voicemails revealing the last words they'll say before being murdered...or whatever it is that happens. This is counteractive at points as one person is attacked by a mysterious hand while another has a freak accident hit them with a flying object.
Most attempts to create tension are influenced by CGI shocks, including one especially laughable one including a texting baby demon looking thing-y that didn't emit terror as much as confusion and startled chuckle.
Main character wise, the film is okay. The main girl is a decent character and decently acted, but it's definitely not a big deal as she's not very memorable. Backing her up is our main male who is a detective who detects and sticks around for background information, mostly. He's as bland.
Grade: D+. There are occasional good jumps and the story moves along decent enough. It has it's plan and lays it out...it's just not very exciting or, worst of all, scary.
No spoilers because the twist is kind of "there." So here's an e-book plug instead:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 9
Day 9 is...Not much.
Real life intercepted my plans to watch a horror movie today. I ended up working a weekend shift that knocked out relaxation ideas.
So, here's a quickie review of a film I remember watching from a set amount of time ago:
Ghost Ship sucks. It may have had a point but rewrites destroyed that with ease, apparently. The idea of a ghost ship claiming souls for nefarious reasons is rather ridiculous.
Grade: D-.
It's a laughable horror film that can only be enjoyed with ridicule.
Yeah...that's all I got. I'll get a movie viewed for tomorrow. Promises and stuff.
Real life intercepted my plans to watch a horror movie today. I ended up working a weekend shift that knocked out relaxation ideas.
So, here's a quickie review of a film I remember watching from a set amount of time ago:
Ghost Ship sucks. It may have had a point but rewrites destroyed that with ease, apparently. The idea of a ghost ship claiming souls for nefarious reasons is rather ridiculous.
Grade: D-.
It's a laughable horror film that can only be enjoyed with ridicule.
Yeah...that's all I got. I'll get a movie viewed for tomorrow. Promises and stuff.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 8
Day 8 of October has arrived and...yeah, I'm here again. Here we go:
Day 8: The Hills Run Red
You'd think that with a title like that, the movie would be trying to capitalize on the recent Hills Have Eyes films, but it takes a much different approach.
We follow a young filmmaker named Tyler who is obsessed with a legendary, unreleased, downright mythical film titled, uniquely enough, The Hills Run Red. He wants to track it down so badly that he finds the disappearing director's drug-addled daughter and roughly rehabs her so she can take him to the cabin where the film was...well...filmed. Along with them is Tyler's girlfriend and best friend, who are currently sleeping with each other. Bummer for Tyler.
They find what they're looking for...and shockingly enough, it doesn't go well from there.
This is a 50/50 film that balances good and crap throughout the run time. It's a film that salutes it's own twist with snarky dialogue. While it might have been surprising to me (set up with logic that I questioned later), I'd say the seeming self-pat on the back took the fun of it from me. However, the movie gets credit for side stepping my biggest horror movie pet peeve, The Out of Service Cell Phone. The characters have service, but are in a forest and completely unable to identify where they're located. Then, the killed attacks and the phone is destroyed, meaning a trace isn't going to happen.
Grade: C
It's a middle of the road film with good and bad. If forced for a "yes or no" on a rental, I would most likely lean with "no" due to the ending, which was kind of blah to me. The film includes a lot of fourth wall winks and that can be irritating or just plain annoying at times. Consider that my big warning in regards to it.
So, that counts as a review, right? Sure.
I'll edit the plug in later. :)
Day 8: The Hills Run Red
You'd think that with a title like that, the movie would be trying to capitalize on the recent Hills Have Eyes films, but it takes a much different approach.
We follow a young filmmaker named Tyler who is obsessed with a legendary, unreleased, downright mythical film titled, uniquely enough, The Hills Run Red. He wants to track it down so badly that he finds the disappearing director's drug-addled daughter and roughly rehabs her so she can take him to the cabin where the film was...well...filmed. Along with them is Tyler's girlfriend and best friend, who are currently sleeping with each other. Bummer for Tyler.
They find what they're looking for...and shockingly enough, it doesn't go well from there.
This is a 50/50 film that balances good and crap throughout the run time. It's a film that salutes it's own twist with snarky dialogue. While it might have been surprising to me (set up with logic that I questioned later), I'd say the seeming self-pat on the back took the fun of it from me. However, the movie gets credit for side stepping my biggest horror movie pet peeve, The Out of Service Cell Phone. The characters have service, but are in a forest and completely unable to identify where they're located. Then, the killed attacks and the phone is destroyed, meaning a trace isn't going to happen.
Grade: C
It's a middle of the road film with good and bad. If forced for a "yes or no" on a rental, I would most likely lean with "no" due to the ending, which was kind of blah to me. The film includes a lot of fourth wall winks and that can be irritating or just plain annoying at times. Consider that my big warning in regards to it.
So, that counts as a review, right? Sure.
I'll edit the plug in later. :)
Friday, October 7, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 7
A week! A week gone by! And let's work in another anthology film!
Day 7: Body Bags
This time is a made-for-TV deal. A seemingly backdoor pilot as the anthology film was meant to spawn off a series much like Tales From the Crypt, but Showtime changed their minds. Oh well, we get three stories with quirky introduction from an odd coroner played by director John Carpenter, who is having a lot of fun chewing up the scenery.
The three stories are:
The Gas Station. A female college student is having her first night on the job at an all-night filling station. Unlucky for her, there is a serial killer going around town and he might just be in line to give her a visit. However, luckily for her, it's not Michael Myers since this John Carpenter directed story takes place in Haddonfield, Illinois. The story consists of cameos from other known directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi.
Hair. Stacy Keach plays a man who is obsessed with his regressing hairline. When he hears of a revolutionary new hair implanting program, he rushes out and gets much more than what he bargained when his hair keeps growing. This one is also directed by Carpenter.
Eye. A family-man baseball player is close to finally being called up to the majors after years of close calls. All is well until he loses control of his car during a rainstorm and is involved in an accident that causes him to lose an eye. Not wanting to lose his livelihood along with it, he takes an offer for an eye transplant from a questionable doctor. However, he begins showing tendencies much like his donor who just happened to be...a homicidal maniac. Bummer. This one is directed by the man who brought us the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Tobe Hooper.
As mentioned before, in-between these stories, Carpenter plays a wacky coroner making tons of puns which were silly fun. Also, at the end, the coroner segments results in cameo appearances for Tom Arnold and Tobe Hooper.
GRADE: B-
I'm such a sucker for a good anthology because good stories can make up for lackluster ones. "The Gas Station" is full of nods towards Carpenter's Halloween and a very passable tension story. "Hair" is okay at the very best and its twist is kind of dumb, but Stacy Keach is so much fun to watch act. "Eye" is where it's at with Mark Hamill who plays his character in such a likable way and struggles as his mind is corrupted by the evil that has been implanted in him. No wonder they saved it for last.
Carpenter is fun in his host segments and I think I would've watched the show if it'd been given a chance.
With that, we have another review for another October day...so here's my book plug:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
You'd only be sacrificing a couple McChickens...or other cheap items...Okay, I'm not great at this, but my book is funny!
Day 7: Body Bags
This time is a made-for-TV deal. A seemingly backdoor pilot as the anthology film was meant to spawn off a series much like Tales From the Crypt, but Showtime changed their minds. Oh well, we get three stories with quirky introduction from an odd coroner played by director John Carpenter, who is having a lot of fun chewing up the scenery.
The three stories are:
The Gas Station. A female college student is having her first night on the job at an all-night filling station. Unlucky for her, there is a serial killer going around town and he might just be in line to give her a visit. However, luckily for her, it's not Michael Myers since this John Carpenter directed story takes place in Haddonfield, Illinois. The story consists of cameos from other known directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi.
Hair. Stacy Keach plays a man who is obsessed with his regressing hairline. When he hears of a revolutionary new hair implanting program, he rushes out and gets much more than what he bargained when his hair keeps growing. This one is also directed by Carpenter.
Eye. A family-man baseball player is close to finally being called up to the majors after years of close calls. All is well until he loses control of his car during a rainstorm and is involved in an accident that causes him to lose an eye. Not wanting to lose his livelihood along with it, he takes an offer for an eye transplant from a questionable doctor. However, he begins showing tendencies much like his donor who just happened to be...a homicidal maniac. Bummer. This one is directed by the man who brought us the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Tobe Hooper.
As mentioned before, in-between these stories, Carpenter plays a wacky coroner making tons of puns which were silly fun. Also, at the end, the coroner segments results in cameo appearances for Tom Arnold and Tobe Hooper.
GRADE: B-
I'm such a sucker for a good anthology because good stories can make up for lackluster ones. "The Gas Station" is full of nods towards Carpenter's Halloween and a very passable tension story. "Hair" is okay at the very best and its twist is kind of dumb, but Stacy Keach is so much fun to watch act. "Eye" is where it's at with Mark Hamill who plays his character in such a likable way and struggles as his mind is corrupted by the evil that has been implanted in him. No wonder they saved it for last.
Carpenter is fun in his host segments and I think I would've watched the show if it'd been given a chance.
With that, we have another review for another October day...so here's my book plug:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
You'd only be sacrificing a couple McChickens...or other cheap items...Okay, I'm not great at this, but my book is funny!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
DC Reviews: Trick 'r Treat
Can I count this as Day 6 on my 31 Days?
No? Awww...too bad because I couldn't get anything wrote. So here's an anthology film.
31 Days of Halloween: Day 5
Another October Day, another horror movie...kind of. This time it's
Day 5: All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
An odd little slasher film that originated in the UK until somehow stumbling into the United States where a copy somehow found it's way loaned to me in a pile of DVDs from a friend.
It follows, uniquely enough, Mandy Lane, a formerly 'ugly' girl who has apparently gotten pretty over a summer to the delight of the male student's eyes. Since she has went from Ugly Duckling to Big Breasted Swan it becomes every male "player"s personal mission to strike first. After her less-cool best friend has a falling out with her, Mandy agrees to go on a weekend outing to a ranch where the three guys going are prepared to use all of their moves...despite the fact that there are two other girls there.
But...then they start dying. Studies show that concern about being gutted is a very good way to stop thinking about sex.
Anyway, review.
This was a mish-mash film that missed more than it hit for me. You know what you're getting into when the very first thing you see is a close-up on the tight-bloused amble bosom of the title character as she struts down a random hallway in school, people of both sexes stopping and staring in awe. In fact, the first act of the movie is just building how much of a crush everyone has on this girl who apparently got pretty very quickly (and without the help of a surgeon).
She accepts the invitation mentioned earlier and our other five characters go about establishing themselves as cliches and stereotypes. We're also introduced to the Ranch Hand who is responsible for watching over the kids. You can tell he's trustworthy because he had a mental breakdown in the war. What war? I'm sure they mentioned it, but shush.
The film eventually devolves into a typical slasher and sputters to an end that caused me to sigh deeply in disappointment.
GRADE: C-
I enjoyed how the film began, building the allure of Mandy Lane, but the further the film went on, the more and more it became a cliche, padded film. I lost interest as the film went on and the eventual "twist" at the end could be seen from approximately three and half miles away on a clear day. I might recommend it, but not for much more than a rental on a night you can't think of much else to watch.
With that said, let's get to the self-plug.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
]]Spoilers[[
I'm cutting straight to the ending, so consider this a double warning in regards to it.
Again...the ending is right after this line.
You may guess from the way she acts or the fact that the movie is named after her, but Mandy Lane is part of the killing. Shocking right? The Less-Cool Friend of hers is doing the dirty work as part of a plan with her, ending with a double suicide. Sadly, she decides to change that plan and kills him, being declared a hero by the only other survivor for doing so. Such a blah ending.
Thanks for reading.
Day 5: All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
An odd little slasher film that originated in the UK until somehow stumbling into the United States where a copy somehow found it's way loaned to me in a pile of DVDs from a friend.
It follows, uniquely enough, Mandy Lane, a formerly 'ugly' girl who has apparently gotten pretty over a summer to the delight of the male student's eyes. Since she has went from Ugly Duckling to Big Breasted Swan it becomes every male "player"s personal mission to strike first. After her less-cool best friend has a falling out with her, Mandy agrees to go on a weekend outing to a ranch where the three guys going are prepared to use all of their moves...despite the fact that there are two other girls there.
But...then they start dying. Studies show that concern about being gutted is a very good way to stop thinking about sex.
Anyway, review.
This was a mish-mash film that missed more than it hit for me. You know what you're getting into when the very first thing you see is a close-up on the tight-bloused amble bosom of the title character as she struts down a random hallway in school, people of both sexes stopping and staring in awe. In fact, the first act of the movie is just building how much of a crush everyone has on this girl who apparently got pretty very quickly (and without the help of a surgeon).
She accepts the invitation mentioned earlier and our other five characters go about establishing themselves as cliches and stereotypes. We're also introduced to the Ranch Hand who is responsible for watching over the kids. You can tell he's trustworthy because he had a mental breakdown in the war. What war? I'm sure they mentioned it, but shush.
The film eventually devolves into a typical slasher and sputters to an end that caused me to sigh deeply in disappointment.
GRADE: C-
I enjoyed how the film began, building the allure of Mandy Lane, but the further the film went on, the more and more it became a cliche, padded film. I lost interest as the film went on and the eventual "twist" at the end could be seen from approximately three and half miles away on a clear day. I might recommend it, but not for much more than a rental on a night you can't think of much else to watch.
With that said, let's get to the self-plug.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
]]Spoilers[[
I'm cutting straight to the ending, so consider this a double warning in regards to it.
Again...the ending is right after this line.
You may guess from the way she acts or the fact that the movie is named after her, but Mandy Lane is part of the killing. Shocking right? The Less-Cool Friend of hers is doing the dirty work as part of a plan with her, ending with a double suicide. Sadly, she decides to change that plan and kills him, being declared a hero by the only other survivor for doing so. Such a blah ending.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 4
Barely squeaking in on time is Day 4. I can stay consistent with this...I think I can, I think I can.
Day 4: Bride of Chucky
Breaking up the esteemed trilogy, Bride of Chucky is the 4th of the Killer Foul-Mouthed Puppet series (making it great for Day 4) and is packed full of inside jokes and quirky dark humor.
Jennifer Tilly plays Charles Lee Ray's "Ex-Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know She's An Ex" who gets her hands on the iconic doll and resurrects him once again. She has a crush on the Main Male character and plans on implanting Chucky's personality into him. However, due to personal issues, Tilly and Chucky get into a fight and soon she's in need of a new body as well...so might as well grab Main Male's Main Female. Thus we have plot with some fodder kills along the way.
I'm a fan of the Chucky series, especially the voice work of Brad Dourif as the ever-lovable murdering psychopath doll. It's dive into working in more 'winks' to the audience was enjoyable to me since I'm easily amused by well placed nods to knowledgeable viewers (At least when I can assume I'm a knowledgeable viewer). Also, the supporting cast is solid. Jennifer Tilly plays her role well and provides a few of the movie's better moments. Also, personal favorite John Ritter has a small role that always managed to make me chuckle despite him being, for all purposes, a villain.
The plot is silly at times, but it still works. All-in-all, I enjoyed it. How much? This much:
Grade: B-
So, my first positive review of this month. It's a fun film and fitting of the B rating since it's a solid B-Movie. Not many scares, but plenty of chuckles amid the attempts of horror.
Finally, I enjoyed the way the "best friend" character makes his exit. Mainly because it was the first time I ever saw and exit like that in a film (It's rather common for jump scares or Scary Movie __ jokes now-a-days).
No spoilers this time. Why should I spoil what I like when it's not a DC Review? :)
So, let's end it with a plug:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
Day 4: Bride of Chucky
Breaking up the esteemed trilogy, Bride of Chucky is the 4th of the Killer Foul-Mouthed Puppet series (making it great for Day 4) and is packed full of inside jokes and quirky dark humor.
Jennifer Tilly plays Charles Lee Ray's "Ex-Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know She's An Ex" who gets her hands on the iconic doll and resurrects him once again. She has a crush on the Main Male character and plans on implanting Chucky's personality into him. However, due to personal issues, Tilly and Chucky get into a fight and soon she's in need of a new body as well...so might as well grab Main Male's Main Female. Thus we have plot with some fodder kills along the way.
I'm a fan of the Chucky series, especially the voice work of Brad Dourif as the ever-lovable murdering psychopath doll. It's dive into working in more 'winks' to the audience was enjoyable to me since I'm easily amused by well placed nods to knowledgeable viewers (At least when I can assume I'm a knowledgeable viewer). Also, the supporting cast is solid. Jennifer Tilly plays her role well and provides a few of the movie's better moments. Also, personal favorite John Ritter has a small role that always managed to make me chuckle despite him being, for all purposes, a villain.
The plot is silly at times, but it still works. All-in-all, I enjoyed it. How much? This much:
Grade: B-
So, my first positive review of this month. It's a fun film and fitting of the B rating since it's a solid B-Movie. Not many scares, but plenty of chuckles amid the attempts of horror.
Finally, I enjoyed the way the "best friend" character makes his exit. Mainly because it was the first time I ever saw and exit like that in a film (It's rather common for jump scares or Scary Movie __ jokes now-a-days).
No spoilers this time. Why should I spoil what I like when it's not a DC Review? :)
So, let's end it with a plug:
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 3
I'm back and 60% ready for another Halloween inspired reivew. Is the 3rd time the charm on my October viewing?
Day 3: Day 3: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Another sequel. Another sequel to a remake. Another disliked sequel to a remake.
I'm on fire, huh?
The remake to The Hills Have Eyes was a successful film much like it's original inspiration. A brute force tour of one unlucky family's horrible vacation choices bringing them into the den of fallout mutated humans with a penchant for heavy handed slaughter and forced encounters of the procreation kind. After doing well in theaters, it was obvious it would follow the original's parth of obtaining a sequel. Of course, drawing more parallels, both were received with a majority opinion of, "Well...ugh."
But I'm already rambling and talking in circles. Let's get to the film.
The Hills Have Eyes 2 follows a group of training U.S. National Guardsmen who have their exercise turn into a combat situation when they end up fighting for survival against the mutant people living in a New Mexico military base. They are all a series of cliches and stereotypes and not very likable for the most part.
The main character is an anti-war soldier which is along the lines of being a vegetarian McDonalds' burger flipper. Sure, they exist, but it's still an amusing approach. Of course, by him being anti-war, he's our hero who will be forced to strike down freakish mutants which will cause him to see the necessity of war...or something along those lines, I gave up on picking out lessons or junk in horror movies.
So, let's discuss the other characters.
Obviously, if you're going to have an anti-war guy, there is going to be a gun crazy there to conflict against him. That's the only recognizable thing about that particular character.
There's the Tough Girl. Times 2. One is a mother who talks about her children because it's mandatory to do so when in a life-threatening situation. The Other is the Main Female character.
Token Black Guy. Poor guy is the "Best" of the group, but we all know he's doomed. Darn racial stereotype.
Angry Military Training Instructor...Guy. HE WILL YELL AT YOU IN CREATIVELY PROFANE WAYS UNTIL YOU ARE A LEAN MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE!!! Also, since he's the only 'real' experienced person in the group he will survive to the end...no, wait. Not quite.
And...Other Guy who I don't really recall. Probably shouldn't have finished with him.
So, it's a hack-n-slash, Monsters bein' Monster film and it jumps from scene to scene, almost trying for dark humor at times. It felt like a...well...rating first:
Grade: D
Overall, the film is just a complete mess. However, the worst thing is that it's no fun. They have moments along the lines, but they're just...not impressive. You'd think writing a review, I'd have a better way to put something, but I don't.
I watched it. I can't unwatch it. It's just there for a good mockery or, if you enjoyed the first, seeing how things could've went worst for the first film.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
I'd offer spoilers, but what is the point? The mutants want to kidnap women to impregnate them, but the movie starts with a woman giving birth and then being murdered. Cause...you know...they couldn't have just 'used' her again. Sorry, just saying.
The trainees don't act like Guardsmen, which can be explained as them being trainees, but they definitely don't act like rational human beings. Who, after seeing people murdered, decides to walk off and urinate behind a rock WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE THEY'RE GOING.
Yeah, this could be nit-picked to death, but let's not and say we did.
See you tomorrow...I hope.
Oh, but the movie does end with a "It's not over!" ending. The movie was a success, but I don't see a third being made unless it's direct-to-DVD...oh crap.
Day 3: Day 3: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Another sequel. Another sequel to a remake. Another disliked sequel to a remake.
I'm on fire, huh?
The remake to The Hills Have Eyes was a successful film much like it's original inspiration. A brute force tour of one unlucky family's horrible vacation choices bringing them into the den of fallout mutated humans with a penchant for heavy handed slaughter and forced encounters of the procreation kind. After doing well in theaters, it was obvious it would follow the original's parth of obtaining a sequel. Of course, drawing more parallels, both were received with a majority opinion of, "Well...ugh."
But I'm already rambling and talking in circles. Let's get to the film.
The Hills Have Eyes 2 follows a group of training U.S. National Guardsmen who have their exercise turn into a combat situation when they end up fighting for survival against the mutant people living in a New Mexico military base. They are all a series of cliches and stereotypes and not very likable for the most part.
The main character is an anti-war soldier which is along the lines of being a vegetarian McDonalds' burger flipper. Sure, they exist, but it's still an amusing approach. Of course, by him being anti-war, he's our hero who will be forced to strike down freakish mutants which will cause him to see the necessity of war...or something along those lines, I gave up on picking out lessons or junk in horror movies.
So, let's discuss the other characters.
Obviously, if you're going to have an anti-war guy, there is going to be a gun crazy there to conflict against him. That's the only recognizable thing about that particular character.
There's the Tough Girl. Times 2. One is a mother who talks about her children because it's mandatory to do so when in a life-threatening situation. The Other is the Main Female character.
Token Black Guy. Poor guy is the "Best" of the group, but we all know he's doomed. Darn racial stereotype.
Angry Military Training Instructor...Guy. HE WILL YELL AT YOU IN CREATIVELY PROFANE WAYS UNTIL YOU ARE A LEAN MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE!!! Also, since he's the only 'real' experienced person in the group he will survive to the end...no, wait. Not quite.
And...Other Guy who I don't really recall. Probably shouldn't have finished with him.
So, it's a hack-n-slash, Monsters bein' Monster film and it jumps from scene to scene, almost trying for dark humor at times. It felt like a...well...rating first:
Grade: D
Overall, the film is just a complete mess. However, the worst thing is that it's no fun. They have moments along the lines, but they're just...not impressive. You'd think writing a review, I'd have a better way to put something, but I don't.
I watched it. I can't unwatch it. It's just there for a good mockery or, if you enjoyed the first, seeing how things could've went worst for the first film.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
I'd offer spoilers, but what is the point? The mutants want to kidnap women to impregnate them, but the movie starts with a woman giving birth and then being murdered. Cause...you know...they couldn't have just 'used' her again. Sorry, just saying.
The trainees don't act like Guardsmen, which can be explained as them being trainees, but they definitely don't act like rational human beings. Who, after seeing people murdered, decides to walk off and urinate behind a rock WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE THEY'RE GOING.
Yeah, this could be nit-picked to death, but let's not and say we did.
See you tomorrow...I hope.
Oh, but the movie does end with a "It's not over!" ending. The movie was a success, but I don't see a third being made unless it's direct-to-DVD...oh crap.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
31 Days of Halloween: Day 2
The 2nd day of this original idea shows that I have the ability to make a deadline at least twice. Always a great sign. Cross your fingers for tomorrow.
Day 2: The Rig
This time we take a look at one of the Direct to DVD films I watched when I first started "DC Review"ing. At the time, I chose to review other films and eventually realized it had been a long time since I recorded my thoughts on it. So for this month, I picked it up and re-examined it.
The plot is a typical horror set-up, just in a different location. Instead of being stranded in a cabin the characters in this movie are on an oil rig in the middle of a heavy storm. Even going out on the deck is (supposed to be) a dangerous move. Suddenly, they realize they're not alone and there is a sharp clawed creature drilling for blood.
There are still plenty of cliches to be found however, this movie gave me hope early on. It seemed to be building to more than just a group of people being slowly chipped away to one or two. Among the characters, was an interesting tension built around the main female, her boyfriend, and her father. Being on an oil rig, the father is the man in charge, his daughter there against his wishes, and the boyfriend a lower-level worker.
Early on, the conflict between a father wanting more from his daughter and a significant other wanting to not be questioned. She tries to hide her man from her dad, while the dad tries to make the boyfriend a better man. There's an interesting dynamic to it. Of course, it means nothing because the moment the monster appears, all issues are made moot immediately.
However, there is another male character we're supposed to care about because he's a strong, hard-worker and he has an argument with his bright, but meek younger brother. The brother is escorted off the rig when the storm starts and the film keeps cutting to him looking forlorn because he had a fight and wouldn't it be horrible if big bro died before they could reconcile?
Yeah, that goes nowhere, too, except for a brief stop at "Unlikely" Town at the of the film.
And this would be my major view on the film. It had potential to be a very engrossing and entertaining film, but seemingly abandons the interesting themes to fall into the SyFy friendly "Ten Little Indians" plot.
GRADE:D
Spoiler Comments Following the Self-Plug...
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
}}Spoilers{{
What I hint at regarding the father/daughter/boyfriend thing is how quickly it doesn't matter once the monster arrives. I started wondering if there may be an issue, such as:
The monster attacking out on the deck, the father slips and slides off the rig, managing to cling to a rail while dangling. The boyfriend is pinned down trying not to get mauled. The girl has a blunt weapon. She has to choose between saving her father or the boyfriend. I would've found that interesting.
What did I get? The father is alone in his office and is killed immediately before the rest of the "Little Indians" know what is going on. Yawn. Also, a great way to write out the man whose name is on top of the poster. Great.
However, beyond backseat screenwriting, there were things in the film that were just plain dull. An "Ex-Acronym" man who stalks around the boat with a makeshift weapon, looking to take out the monster is silly. It only provides the info that there is more than one creature since he goes to kill one and gets blindsided by another. You'd think that would be a shock but it's more of a "Oh, okay," moment with how it's presented.
The ending is ridiculously done, too. The girl survives and the boyfriend shows just how much he learned from her father by dying in an explosion. Awesome job. Then, a helicopter appears and the before-mentioned younger brother arrives. Young brother and Other Guy search and find Older Brother who was drug offscreen, yet not killed by the creature that ALWAYS EVISCERATED its prey IMMEDIATELY.
Anyway, after that, the last of the monsters arrives and Other Guy kills it because, suprise, he was Ex-Acronym's brother. Whole lot of family going on in this film.
Day 2 complete. Thanks for reading. And hopefully Day 3 will actually be up tomorrow (unless I get lazy).
Day 2: The Rig
This time we take a look at one of the Direct to DVD films I watched when I first started "DC Review"ing. At the time, I chose to review other films and eventually realized it had been a long time since I recorded my thoughts on it. So for this month, I picked it up and re-examined it.
The plot is a typical horror set-up, just in a different location. Instead of being stranded in a cabin the characters in this movie are on an oil rig in the middle of a heavy storm. Even going out on the deck is (supposed to be) a dangerous move. Suddenly, they realize they're not alone and there is a sharp clawed creature drilling for blood.
There are still plenty of cliches to be found however, this movie gave me hope early on. It seemed to be building to more than just a group of people being slowly chipped away to one or two. Among the characters, was an interesting tension built around the main female, her boyfriend, and her father. Being on an oil rig, the father is the man in charge, his daughter there against his wishes, and the boyfriend a lower-level worker.
Early on, the conflict between a father wanting more from his daughter and a significant other wanting to not be questioned. She tries to hide her man from her dad, while the dad tries to make the boyfriend a better man. There's an interesting dynamic to it. Of course, it means nothing because the moment the monster appears, all issues are made moot immediately.
However, there is another male character we're supposed to care about because he's a strong, hard-worker and he has an argument with his bright, but meek younger brother. The brother is escorted off the rig when the storm starts and the film keeps cutting to him looking forlorn because he had a fight and wouldn't it be horrible if big bro died before they could reconcile?
Yeah, that goes nowhere, too, except for a brief stop at "Unlikely" Town at the of the film.
And this would be my major view on the film. It had potential to be a very engrossing and entertaining film, but seemingly abandons the interesting themes to fall into the SyFy friendly "Ten Little Indians" plot.
GRADE:D
Spoiler Comments Following the Self-Plug...
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips ONLY $1.99!
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
}}Spoilers{{
What I hint at regarding the father/daughter/boyfriend thing is how quickly it doesn't matter once the monster arrives. I started wondering if there may be an issue, such as:
The monster attacking out on the deck, the father slips and slides off the rig, managing to cling to a rail while dangling. The boyfriend is pinned down trying not to get mauled. The girl has a blunt weapon. She has to choose between saving her father or the boyfriend. I would've found that interesting.
What did I get? The father is alone in his office and is killed immediately before the rest of the "Little Indians" know what is going on. Yawn. Also, a great way to write out the man whose name is on top of the poster. Great.
However, beyond backseat screenwriting, there were things in the film that were just plain dull. An "Ex-Acronym" man who stalks around the boat with a makeshift weapon, looking to take out the monster is silly. It only provides the info that there is more than one creature since he goes to kill one and gets blindsided by another. You'd think that would be a shock but it's more of a "Oh, okay," moment with how it's presented.
The ending is ridiculously done, too. The girl survives and the boyfriend shows just how much he learned from her father by dying in an explosion. Awesome job. Then, a helicopter appears and the before-mentioned younger brother arrives. Young brother and Other Guy search and find Older Brother who was drug offscreen, yet not killed by the creature that ALWAYS EVISCERATED its prey IMMEDIATELY.
Anyway, after that, the last of the monsters arrives and Other Guy kills it because, suprise, he was Ex-Acronym's brother. Whole lot of family going on in this film.
Day 2 complete. Thanks for reading. And hopefully Day 3 will actually be up tomorrow (unless I get lazy).
31 Days of Halloween: Day 1
In an attempt to be as cliche as nearly every other horror obsessed blogger in existence, I'll be working on giving a review a day (outside of the regular "DC Reviews" that is) for the 31 Days of Halloween.
Day 1: Rob Zombie's Halloween 2
First, some babble.
It has been over two years since I saw the unnecessary remake to the film that brought John Carpenter's directing to the public eye and introduced Jamie Lee Curtis to the world. Rob Zombie's take on Halloween consisted of adding a vulgar and violent background story that took up a majority of the movie before seemingly jamming a slightly modified version of the original into the last thirty minutes.
In all honesty, John Carpenter is my favorite director so I was very skeptical going into the remake and it didn't really impress me. Although, I was happy to figure Carpenter got some cash to make up for them re-adapting his work. While my feelings towards the remake were an overall "Meh," it was met with much anger from others who blasted it for turning the subtle terror of Michael Myers into a hulking, mouth-breathing giant with some serious mommy issues.
So, when Halloween 2 first appeared in theaters, I ignored it. I had no real reason to make the drive in order to see the sequel in theaters. However, I did get to see the reviews. And wow...they were angry. And angry is a polite way to put it. The writing led me to believe Rob Zombie appeared on screen midway to discuss how everything they loved was wrong and his wife was obviously deserving of so many major acting roles. Therefore, I decided to give it a major pass.
Until now. Two years later, I finally decided to find out for myself what this movie was truly like. And...
Wow, that was bad.
Halloween 2 has parts that if better managed feel like they could have provided an enjoyable movie, but the final product leaves much to be desired. Yet, what I personally desired most of all was a good editor. This film didn't need to be pushing 2 hours long.
For the most part Halloween 2 is three stories being told and then being brought together for the finale. The main story is Michael Myers having constant images of his dead mother and younger self speaking to him, egging him on. A continuation of the much maligned mommy issues of the first movie that also allows Sheri Moon Zombie a significant role. For the majority of this, we see a hobo-ish Michael wandering towards his final destination, killing people along the way. And these parts show how Zombie is effective with giving brute force violence to shock an audience, but unable to build significant tension towards these attacks.
The second story follows Laurie Strode as she tries to recover from seeing her friends slaughtered before shooting her attacker in the face. Apparently, when you're already a troubled person, having issues like those can cause you be a bit wacky and in need of psychiatry. This is on equal footing with the first 'story' as Laurie finds out personal secrets about herself that even she didn't know causing her to act in an annoying fashion.
The shortest of the three stories follows Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis. Since somehow surviving the first movie (which I can't really fault considering how in the original Halloween 2, Donald Pleasance sets off a giant explosion that catches Michael and him, yet both appear more than willing for the 4th film) Loomis has been profiting off books and circuit speeches in regards to his studying of the child turned giant with knife. However, his time in the spotlight is just about up as he's being criticized for his use of tragedy for cash and being openly mocked (especially by "Weird" Al Yankovic in a surprisingly fun cameo).
As I hinted towards before, Zombie seems to have amped up aspects of the remake that angered viewing audiences. The main thing being the changes to the iconic slasher. Nearly all the recognizable parts of the Michael Myers found in the original films are abandoned. He's a brute force first, mask abandoning, beard-growing, speaking giant with extraordinary strength. The only real stealth shown is when Zombie has him randomly appear behind people which appeared awkward. It looked like he took some ninja classes between films.
Acting wise, Brad Dourif plays the Sheriff exceptionally well. I kind of wish he could have had a larger role. Malcolm McDowell chews scenery and is okay at best.
GRADE: D-
While nothing really intriguing, the film may be okay with a group of friends who can vent frustration in the form of riffing. There are mildly good parts, but nothing worth praising for too long. In all, it's a big disappointment and while I find the first movie okay-at-best, this one is very unlikely to ever get a second viewing.
Zombie's style could have worked but near the end, I began wondering if the rumors of him being forced to do a sequel in order to get other projects approved were true. Did he just go through the motions? If so, I hope he realizes that all he did was show he sucks at the motions, too.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
With that done, the following are spoiler-ish Nit Picks.
So This is a warning for you to stop.
If you don't want spoilers.
...
Okay, I was rather frustrated at the overly long dream sequence that appears to reference the original Halloween 2. Being over 10 minutes long and taking the time to introduce what ends up being an imaginary fodder character seems just too much.
It seems odd that such brutal kills are delivered to people introduced solely to die, but major characters get quick, or offscreen (with brief flashes) kills. You'd think taking the time to actually introduce and have these people around would be in order to have the audience feel for them when the crushingly brutal destruction begins.
Laurie was completely unlikable to me. While I can understand why she's being portrayed in such a way, it was just plain annoying.
Dr. Loomis apparently can teleport when necessary to get to the ending, which was amusing.
The ending scene contains Myers being shot down. It was at that moment I realized how much of a mixture he was between the Jack Link's Sasquatch and Geico Caveman.
And I can't think of a better way to end this, so there you go. Thanks again.
Day 1: Rob Zombie's Halloween 2
First, some babble.
It has been over two years since I saw the unnecessary remake to the film that brought John Carpenter's directing to the public eye and introduced Jamie Lee Curtis to the world. Rob Zombie's take on Halloween consisted of adding a vulgar and violent background story that took up a majority of the movie before seemingly jamming a slightly modified version of the original into the last thirty minutes.
In all honesty, John Carpenter is my favorite director so I was very skeptical going into the remake and it didn't really impress me. Although, I was happy to figure Carpenter got some cash to make up for them re-adapting his work. While my feelings towards the remake were an overall "Meh," it was met with much anger from others who blasted it for turning the subtle terror of Michael Myers into a hulking, mouth-breathing giant with some serious mommy issues.
So, when Halloween 2 first appeared in theaters, I ignored it. I had no real reason to make the drive in order to see the sequel in theaters. However, I did get to see the reviews. And wow...they were angry. And angry is a polite way to put it. The writing led me to believe Rob Zombie appeared on screen midway to discuss how everything they loved was wrong and his wife was obviously deserving of so many major acting roles. Therefore, I decided to give it a major pass.
Until now. Two years later, I finally decided to find out for myself what this movie was truly like. And...
Wow, that was bad.
Halloween 2 has parts that if better managed feel like they could have provided an enjoyable movie, but the final product leaves much to be desired. Yet, what I personally desired most of all was a good editor. This film didn't need to be pushing 2 hours long.
For the most part Halloween 2 is three stories being told and then being brought together for the finale. The main story is Michael Myers having constant images of his dead mother and younger self speaking to him, egging him on. A continuation of the much maligned mommy issues of the first movie that also allows Sheri Moon Zombie a significant role. For the majority of this, we see a hobo-ish Michael wandering towards his final destination, killing people along the way. And these parts show how Zombie is effective with giving brute force violence to shock an audience, but unable to build significant tension towards these attacks.
The second story follows Laurie Strode as she tries to recover from seeing her friends slaughtered before shooting her attacker in the face. Apparently, when you're already a troubled person, having issues like those can cause you be a bit wacky and in need of psychiatry. This is on equal footing with the first 'story' as Laurie finds out personal secrets about herself that even she didn't know causing her to act in an annoying fashion.
The shortest of the three stories follows Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis. Since somehow surviving the first movie (which I can't really fault considering how in the original Halloween 2, Donald Pleasance sets off a giant explosion that catches Michael and him, yet both appear more than willing for the 4th film) Loomis has been profiting off books and circuit speeches in regards to his studying of the child turned giant with knife. However, his time in the spotlight is just about up as he's being criticized for his use of tragedy for cash and being openly mocked (especially by "Weird" Al Yankovic in a surprisingly fun cameo).
As I hinted towards before, Zombie seems to have amped up aspects of the remake that angered viewing audiences. The main thing being the changes to the iconic slasher. Nearly all the recognizable parts of the Michael Myers found in the original films are abandoned. He's a brute force first, mask abandoning, beard-growing, speaking giant with extraordinary strength. The only real stealth shown is when Zombie has him randomly appear behind people which appeared awkward. It looked like he took some ninja classes between films.
Acting wise, Brad Dourif plays the Sheriff exceptionally well. I kind of wish he could have had a larger role. Malcolm McDowell chews scenery and is okay at best.
GRADE: D-
While nothing really intriguing, the film may be okay with a group of friends who can vent frustration in the form of riffing. There are mildly good parts, but nothing worth praising for too long. In all, it's a big disappointment and while I find the first movie okay-at-best, this one is very unlikely to ever get a second viewing.
Zombie's style could have worked but near the end, I began wondering if the rumors of him being forced to do a sequel in order to get other projects approved were true. Did he just go through the motions? If so, I hope he realizes that all he did was show he sucks at the motions, too.
Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this, you may enjoy my tongue-in-cheek approach to horror movie safety with my new E-Book
50 Plus 10: Horror Movie Survival Tips
Which you can find at the link:
http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/50-plus-10-horror-movie-survival-tips/17364478
Or click on the nice looking picture thing-y.
With that done, the following are spoiler-ish Nit Picks.
So This is a warning for you to stop.
If you don't want spoilers.
...
Okay, I was rather frustrated at the overly long dream sequence that appears to reference the original Halloween 2. Being over 10 minutes long and taking the time to introduce what ends up being an imaginary fodder character seems just too much.
It seems odd that such brutal kills are delivered to people introduced solely to die, but major characters get quick, or offscreen (with brief flashes) kills. You'd think taking the time to actually introduce and have these people around would be in order to have the audience feel for them when the crushingly brutal destruction begins.
Laurie was completely unlikable to me. While I can understand why she's being portrayed in such a way, it was just plain annoying.
Dr. Loomis apparently can teleport when necessary to get to the ending, which was amusing.
The ending scene contains Myers being shot down. It was at that moment I realized how much of a mixture he was between the Jack Link's Sasquatch and Geico Caveman.
And I can't think of a better way to end this, so there you go. Thanks again.
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