Horror-a-Day Catch-up Post-Extravaganza Jr.

10/15

Movie: Tales From the Darkside: The Movie

Recap: Anthology film consisting of three stories told by a child trying to delay a witch from preparing him for a dinner.

"Lot 249" stars Steve Buscemi as a pesky nerd who imports an Egyptian Mummy in order to get revenge on a group of people including Christian Slater. It's quirky and has some good moments (especially with Slater's battle with the mummy) with a hit-or-miss ending.

"Cat From Hell" consists of an older man hiring a hitman to eliminate the title animal. It does not go as easily as the hitman expects. This one's ending is a head tilt-er. Not for a twist, just for the way the final hitman vs. cat confrontation goes.

"Lover's Vow" A man sees a gargoyle creature killing someone. It makes him promise to not tell, vowing to come back and kill him if he spills the beans towards its existence. The man soon finds true love and, over the years, debates on whether to share the information with her. It's...kind of dumb, in all honesty.

"Epilogue." The story connecting the anthology tales ends cute enough.

I'd recommend Tales From the Darkside: The Movie for at least one viewing.

Grade: B-

10/16

Movie: Lake Placid

Recap: A Horror-Comedy dealing around a select group of unique characters dealing with the sudden discovery of a 30-foot, man-chomping crocodile in Maine.

This film really clicked for me. It's got a good feel of a comedy with dashes of effective horror and a jumpscare that was actually enjoyable instead of eye-rolling. Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda play the "Duo that is Destined to Fall in Love" over the film very well. Meanwhile, the movie throws in a buddy duo of Oliver Platt and Brendan Gleeson as a wacky animal hunter and local 'hick' sheriff. Betty White plays a small role of a dirty mouthed local that is rather amusing.

So, yes, I'd say the characters really make this one with the croc only being a part of the ideal...which is probably why the direct-to-SyFy sequels were dreadful beyond compare.

I'd definitely recommend it.

Grade: B+

10/17

Movie: From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money

Recap: Vampires robbing a bank. This film typically gets mis-advertised. The TV blurb for it says it follows "Bank Robbers who stumble upon a bar full of vampires" when in reality, only one of the robbers does so, gets bit, and then goes back to his group to push for the robbery to be at night. Also, the description says the film stars Bruce Campbell and Tiffany Thiessen who are barely in the film for a minute. (Actually, on some old VHS covers, the movie claims Thiessen is the Queen Vampire which is downright ridiculous).

Needless off-side banter aside, this film is a profane thrill ride of goofy. Robert Patrick is downright awesome throughout, even if the film seems to just run out of ideas near the end. There are amusing parts and some fun lines, but the movie iss lacking in some areas. It's definitely a step down from the original, but it's not horrible.

Also, I enjoyed the brief Danny Trejo cameo because...well...Danny Trejo.

Give it a watch if you have spare time and it's on TV.

Grade: C+

10/18

Movie: Code Red -- The Rubicon Conspiracy

Recap: Made-for-TV Predator rip-off. This films hits all the typical scenes you'd expect and is very by-the-numbers. Sadly,that also means it is a bland film that isn't really worthy of a view.

There is one unique moment, as the leftover group finds a bunker and has to try and hack into a 1960s computer, complete with dumb references abound.

Only if you're a big Predator fan do I recommend this one.

Grade: D+

10/19

Movie: Abominable

Recap: Rear Window with a Sasquatch. An injured man lives in a cabin deep in the woods. However, there is another one near by and a group of vacationing girls move in just as the local giant Abominable Snowman decides to pick up some humans for a snack.

This one works in spots, but the ending is a dull cliche that takes away from other parts. Lance Henriksen is in the film and brings his usual ability to a small role but he's not around long enough to consider a full-fledged recommendation.

If you see it on SyFy, it's not too bad.

Grade: C

10/20

Movie: The Dentist

Recap: A dentist goes crazy after discovering his wife's infidelity and garners revenge the best way he knows how. If you hate the dentist, this film won't help you. If you hate violence to teeth...this film won't help you. Corbin Bernsen is great as the flipping out dentist and is intimidating when having 'clients' prepared for surgery.

The teeth violence seems rather real and even made me a bit squeamish. Among all this, however, is some kind of awkward dark humor. Not sure it really works all the time.

If you think you can stand it, try it. You've got nothing to lose...except a molar or two.

Grade: C+

10/21

Movie: Route 666

Recap: Ghost Chain Gang Workers pound the pavement with the flesh of those dumb enough to stay on the road. Lou Diamond Phillips and Lori Petty star in this film and work well off each other for the most part.

I think the main issue is that the writer was trying way too hard. Consider when dialogue like this exists:
"I don't care if you're ****ing Santa Claus!"
"Well, hopefully Mrs. Claus is the only one doing that."

It's not a good film, but if you're a LDP fan, you should be good to go. It's a fun b-movie at the very least.

Grade: C

10/22

Movie: Deep Rising

Recap: Horror Comedy Action film where a boatload of mercs and an unlucky ship owner end up battling against giant evil CGI sea worms. Treat Williams is a lot of fun in this Steven Sommers film.

There is a decent mixture of action and comedy to match the tension built horror parts. In all honesty, this thing was more action than horror, but I still enjoyed it.

Not recommended for Halloween viewing, but worth a view down the road.

Grade: B

10/23

Movie: Friday the 13th (Remake)

Recap: It's Jason Voorhees and he's got a very cliche set-up that the makers were hoping you'd enjoy. This is all about rebooting the franchise with a quicker, smarter Jason who apparently is really good at running around tunnels.

This movie tries really hard to capture the 'aura' of the earlier films while throwing all the nostalgic stuff they could at the camera. Jason with a machete? Yep. Jason finds his hockey mask? You betcha. Nudity? Very much so. Even more nudity? Of course? A sex scene that goes on so long you begin to wonder if the film qualifies as part softcore? Duh.

It didn't click with me, but it might with others. I might have just advanced past the point where a new "Friday" movie entertains me.

Grade: C-

10/24

Movie: FearDotCom

Recap: A ghost who apparently rented The Ring has a website that will kill you in two days unless you can win a game or some such nonsense. This film is just a mess from start to finish.

Nothing really likable about anyone in it. Nothing really intersting about the plot. Nothing intimidating about the serial killer. Nothing spooky about the ghost or its tactics.

So, to summarize: Nothing really worth watching.
Grade: F