Day 3: Day 3: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Another sequel. Another sequel to a remake. Another disliked sequel to a remake.
I'm on fire, huh?
The remake to The Hills Have Eyes was a successful film much like it's original inspiration. A brute force tour of one unlucky family's horrible vacation choices bringing them into the den of fallout mutated humans with a penchant for heavy handed slaughter and forced encounters of the procreation kind. After doing well in theaters, it was obvious it would follow the original's parth of obtaining a sequel. Of course, drawing more parallels, both were received with a majority opinion of, "Well...ugh."
But I'm already rambling and talking in circles. Let's get to the film.
The Hills Have Eyes 2 follows a group of training U.S. National Guardsmen who have their exercise turn into a combat situation when they end up fighting for survival against the mutant people living in a New Mexico military base. They are all a series of cliches and stereotypes and not very likable for the most part.
The main character is an anti-war soldier which is along the lines of being a vegetarian McDonalds' burger flipper. Sure, they exist, but it's still an amusing approach. Of course, by him being anti-war, he's our hero who will be forced to strike down freakish mutants which will cause him to see the necessity of war...or something along those lines, I gave up on picking out lessons or junk in horror movies.
So, let's discuss the other characters.
Obviously, if you're going to have an anti-war guy, there is going to be a gun crazy there to conflict against him. That's the only recognizable thing about that particular character.
There's the Tough Girl. Times 2. One is a mother who talks about her children because it's mandatory to do so when in a life-threatening situation. The Other is the Main Female character.
Token Black Guy. Poor guy is the "Best" of the group, but we all know he's doomed. Darn racial stereotype.
Angry Military Training Instructor...Guy. HE WILL YELL AT YOU IN CREATIVELY PROFANE WAYS UNTIL YOU ARE A LEAN MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE!!! Also, since he's the only 'real' experienced person in the group he will survive to the end...no, wait. Not quite.
And...Other Guy who I don't really recall. Probably shouldn't have finished with him.
So, it's a hack-n-slash, Monsters bein' Monster film and it jumps from scene to scene, almost trying for dark humor at times. It felt like a...well...rating first:
Grade: D
Overall, the film is just a complete mess. However, the worst thing is that it's no fun. They have moments along the lines, but they're just...not impressive. You'd think writing a review, I'd have a better way to put something, but I don't.
I watched it. I can't unwatch it. It's just there for a good mockery or, if you enjoyed the first, seeing how things could've went worst for the first film.
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I'd offer spoilers, but what is the point? The mutants want to kidnap women to impregnate them, but the movie starts with a woman giving birth and then being murdered. Cause...you know...they couldn't have just 'used' her again. Sorry, just saying.
The trainees don't act like Guardsmen, which can be explained as them being trainees, but they definitely don't act like rational human beings. Who, after seeing people murdered, decides to walk off and urinate behind a rock WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE THEY'RE GOING.
Yeah, this could be nit-picked to death, but let's not and say we did.
See you tomorrow...I hope.
Oh, but the movie does end with a "It's not over!" ending. The movie was a success, but I don't see a third being made unless it's direct-to-DVD...oh crap.
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