Sometimes I see Straight to DVD movies out of curiosity thinking that I can use them for later Disturbingly Cheap reviews. Sometimes I'm wrong.
Still, because this blog could use an update or two from time to time, I've decided that when this happens, I'll give some quick thoughts in written form. Since I've already taken up too much time explaining this, let's jump into the reviews.
UNTHINKABLE
Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Carrie Anne-Moss, Michael Sheen
Plot: A black-ops interrogator and an FBI agent press a suspect terrorist in attempts to coerce him into revealing the location of three nuclear weapons sets to detonate in the U.S.
Review: A movie that was destined for theatrical release until the company funding said release went bankrupt, Unthinkable is an outstanding and thought provoking film. A rare movie where Samuel L. Jackson disappears into the character he's playing as the story evolves. Carrie Anne-Moss is wonderful as the film's moral compass while Michael Sheen is absolutely amazing as the terrorist Steven Younger (AKA Yusuf). This film went on to win the Straight to DVD Awards' "Best Picture."
This movie flows like a rapid river, dragging you along for the ride. This is a definite recommendation as the film grabbed me and didn't let go until the very. last. second.
Grade: A+.
Why Not a DC Review: Seriously considered, but in the end, I wouldn't be able to do much with the pictures and there is a large part of me that just didn't want to spoil anything that happens.
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BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA 2
Stars: George Lopez, Ernie Hudson, Odette Yustman
That's an insanely quick change in tone, huh?
Plot: Just married, Papi and Chloe are trying to keep up with their five puppies. When the dogs discover that their caretaker's family is struggling to pay the mortgage (and are making bank plans selling their home) they (along with other friendly dogs) decide to compete in a dog show in order to win a large cash prize and save the house.
Review: It's a cheesy family film packed with plenty of puppies doing cute things and silly jokes. The movie caught me off guard with some decent humor in spots (although there were some cringe inducers as well). And I'll even say the unique twist near the end is nice enough. Lopez's voice does get on my nerves after a while, though.
Oh, and apparently French Stewart is still around as he appears for a very small role here. You know. French Stewart. The guy from 3rd Rock From the Sun that wasn't in Cliffhanger or Inception...no, not the fat one. You know. The guy who played INSPECTOR GADGET!...In the Direct to Video sequel. Maybe you know him as MARV from Home Alone...4. Okay. Never mind.
$Texas.
Grade: B-. It does what it needs to do (which is usually a C) and also made me laugh a few times (which bumped it up a little). Also, puppies are cute. Good enough for me.
Why Not a DC Review: I can't draw dogs. I just...can't.
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VICTIM
""Stars"": Stephen Weigand, Bob Bancroft, Brendan Kelly
Plot: A young man finds himself held captive by a mysterious doctor and his brutish henchman. Informed that "You are no longer you," his fingerprints are burned off, and he (and the audience) is subjected to torture. It's all leading up to the big reveal of why the doctor is doing what he's doing. And...it's stupid.
Review: It may have spilled into the plot part. I hate this movie.
Apparently, it has become commonplace to come up with the idea that "If you can disgust an audience, it must also be disturbing, and thus is a Horror movie." Gain the reputation. Cash in on the morbid curiosity. This movie is not good in any way. The acting. The plot. The gore. The script. The twist. The characters. The film. The catering probably sucked, too.
I cannot find any possible reason to recommend it. If you read this and for some reason feel you have to see it...go right ahead. I don't care. Because this bit of review writing is helping me purge it from my system so I never have to think about it ever again.
Grade: F. I'll say it over and over. I'm tired of this "Disgust the audience and call it Horror" junk. This movie seems to hide behind it's "twist" as a great and riveting moment but it does nothing to save the junk provided. Junk. Junk. CRAP.
Why not a DC Review: Couple of reasons. I don't want to be an "angry reviewer" who rants on everything and this is the kind of movie that would warrant that behavior. You may have noticed not much logical thought in the section marked "review" and the video would've had even less. With all due respect to the people who worked hard in every aspect to get this film created...sorry, but I despise it.
Also, because I doubt as many people will see this blog as would the review and I just wanted to rant on it without really peaking interest in it. Do. No. Watch. This. Piece. Of. Crap.
...
And with that variety of films, I'm calling this a blog (Hi, Blog) and wishing all that read it a nice day.
Until Next Time...Seriously. I can't draw dogs.
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