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Got a group of people together and ventured into theatre for the latest offering from Platinum Dunes, Nightmare on Elm Street. For me to do a typical “Mind-to-Mouth” review is virtually impossible (Ever try writing at a rapid pace while in the dark?), so I’ve instead collected some “Random Thoughts” on the film.
Yes, there will be spoilers as I mention exact things in the film.
Enjoy…or don’t. What do I care?
…
I actually care a lot. Please enjoy!
~ What happened to that third guy with Quentin & Jesse at the start?
~ That cake at the restaurant looks pretty darn good.
~ Who falls asleep at a FUNERAL...especially when you're in THE DAGGONE FRONT ROW!
~ I've seen things man. Bad things. Bad, bad things. Dude. Whatever.
~ LOUD NOISE!
~ "Why are you screaming, I haven't even cut you, yet." is the best line from the trailer, but in the movie, the "We've got 6 more minutes to play..." was a top line.
~ I'm guessing that Jesse's cellmate only had two days until release. Poor guy. He's the true victim.
~ Stop lying! I'm not lying! Stop lying! I'm not lying! STOP LYING! I'M NOT LYING!"
~ How awkward was it that Nancy was crossing out the faces of the dead people? Their names are on the back. Just mark those off, you dope.
~ EXTREME CLOSE-UP!
~ Speaking of awkward, nothing like seeing a murderous "flashback" while in a speedo. Although, having a burning man running at you full steam is rather amusing. And by amusing, I mean I had to stifle laughter.
~ Who posted that VLog?!
~ You are experiencing random sleep that you can’t control. You have decided you need to get to a certain area in order to stop the killer…so why do you detour to a pharmacy…and then leave the other person with you…ALONE IN THE CAR!
Yes, there will be spoilers as I mention exact things in the film.
Enjoy…or don’t. What do I care?
…
I actually care a lot. Please enjoy!
~ What happened to that third guy with Quentin & Jesse at the start?
~ That cake at the restaurant looks pretty darn good.
~ Who falls asleep at a FUNERAL...especially when you're in THE DAGGONE FRONT ROW!
~ I've seen things man. Bad things. Bad, bad things. Dude. Whatever.
~ LOUD NOISE!
~ "Why are you screaming, I haven't even cut you, yet." is the best line from the trailer, but in the movie, the "We've got 6 more minutes to play..." was a top line.
~ I'm guessing that Jesse's cellmate only had two days until release. Poor guy. He's the true victim.
~ Stop lying! I'm not lying! Stop lying! I'm not lying! STOP LYING! I'M NOT LYING!"
~ How awkward was it that Nancy was crossing out the faces of the dead people? Their names are on the back. Just mark those off, you dope.
~ EXTREME CLOSE-UP!
~ Speaking of awkward, nothing like seeing a murderous "flashback" while in a speedo. Although, having a burning man running at you full steam is rather amusing. And by amusing, I mean I had to stifle laughter.
~ Who posted that VLog?!
~ You are experiencing random sleep that you can’t control. You have decided you need to get to a certain area in order to stop the killer…so why do you detour to a pharmacy…and then leave the other person with you…ALONE IN THE CAR!
~ She burns herself while already awake…and then promptly has another micronap scene. Good job, Nancy.
~ Micronaps are always possible...unless the plot needs to develop without Freddy around.
~ Some of the drawings from Nancy’s room are also in Freddy’s “cave.” Is that supposed to be her “seeing” things in the dream and copying them (extremely accurately) or were the set designers just lazy?
~ LOUD NOISE AND EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!
~ So the one girl gets tossed around like crazy while Freddy tortures her, but Nancy stays in place during her dream battle with him tossing her into walls?
~ Heavy dose of adrenaline to the heart?! Boom, it explodes, movie over!
~ Why is Freddy so daggone powerful OUTSIDE of the dream realm? Shouldn't he be more human since he's in the real world? He chucks Quentin with absolute ease.
~ The ending didn't really pack much of a punch. Kind of lame in my eyes…
~ Did they explain HOW Freddy became a Dream Stalker? "Just cause" isn't much of a reason. Yes, I know he got power since he was remembered...but I'm pretty sure that doesn't typically happen with deceased killers.
~ If it is a reboot, then why are you relying on people knowing certain things from the original? Like where the finger blades come from. Or why Freddy likes using a furnace room.
~ Some of the drawings from Nancy’s room are also in Freddy’s “cave.” Is that supposed to be her “seeing” things in the dream and copying them (extremely accurately) or were the set designers just lazy?
~ LOUD NOISE AND EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!
~ So the one girl gets tossed around like crazy while Freddy tortures her, but Nancy stays in place during her dream battle with him tossing her into walls?
~ Heavy dose of adrenaline to the heart?! Boom, it explodes, movie over!
~ Why is Freddy so daggone powerful OUTSIDE of the dream realm? Shouldn't he be more human since he's in the real world? He chucks Quentin with absolute ease.
~ The ending didn't really pack much of a punch. Kind of lame in my eyes…
~ Did they explain HOW Freddy became a Dream Stalker? "Just cause" isn't much of a reason. Yes, I know he got power since he was remembered...but I'm pretty sure that doesn't typically happen with deceased killers.
~ If it is a reboot, then why are you relying on people knowing certain things from the original? Like where the finger blades come from. Or why Freddy likes using a furnace room.
Overall…
Meh. Is it darker than the later Nightmare films? Yeah. But even with an “unforgiving” step into the shadows, it still doesn’t really hit the mark. No legitimate scares and at least 20 Jump Scares that produce no tension and only provide a momentary discomfort to the audience’s ears. A complete disappointment to me.
~
SCORE: 1 Out of 5
That single point is for you Jackie Earle Haley. Nice try as Freddy.
Meh. Is it darker than the later Nightmare films? Yeah. But even with an “unforgiving” step into the shadows, it still doesn’t really hit the mark. No legitimate scares and at least 20 Jump Scares that produce no tension and only provide a momentary discomfort to the audience’s ears. A complete disappointment to me.
~
SCORE: 1 Out of 5
That single point is for you Jackie Earle Haley. Nice try as Freddy.
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Pretty sure since posting this back then that I've mellowed slightly on the movie. Not too much, though. I'd still rank it around 1.5/5 (or 3 out of 10 to avoid decimals).
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